A Travellerspoint blog


Mallaca, Melaka......and Mark.

sunny 31 °C


Melaka, Mallaca a few different spellings but the same place. This town has a lot of history to it and in my second hand Lonely Planet guide there were plenty of scribbles where someone else had decided to go there.

We got a bus from Kuala Lumpur which was only a few hours down the road. It was simple and cheap with buses leaving there almost hourly. We had met Dan in KL and planned to go there together. So after a short train ride and a brisk walk to the bus station we were on our way. He had to wait for us a few times juggling the guitar and other bags about so that Chloe and I could manage but think he was relieved we weren't dragging around the additional suit cases we bought months before......now given away.

Melaka has a river flowing through it which reminded me slightly of Venice purely because of the small cafes running alongside the river. They have colourful painted buildings too of sceneries, not graffiti but reckon Banksy would nod his head in approvement. One in particular was a take from the Portuguese ship invasion in the 1500's.

We visited a re-created Flora de la Mar now a maritime museum and St Pauls Church 1521; it never ceases to amaze me of the history around the world, that gives a good view over the town.

We stayed in a small compact room that may as well come from the IKEA catalogue. It was apx 9 ft x 6.5ft with a ladder to upstairs. There was a sofa and table downstairs and a mattress.:..yeah no bedstead, upstairs but you didn't need anything else. It was clean, tidy and cheap.

We rented bicycles one day and had a look around, it was quiet because of Ramadan which meant a lot of the food places were closed. We went to a pub which sold food called Geographers and we were approached by the manager Mark Roberts who decided we were his new best friends. Already my alarm bells were going off but its difficult to gage, is he being friendly? am I being unfriendly? Maybe he's a nice guy, he's got a responsible job he can't be that mad. All these thoughts racing through my head whilst he's telling Dan what a good looking guy he is and how beautiful his eyes are.....I was safe then, he likes men....I thought.

He rambled on and on about all sorts of stuff, translating into Malay/Indonesian etc as he went, it was like a crash course in the life of Mark. I won't go into all the details but he told us to call all the men....balls. eg..."hey balls....where are the toilets?" "Hey balls you want to eat?" I didn't believe this for one second. The stories came on thick and fast albeit very entertaining! Then the dilemma came....."Balls....(aimed at Dan obviously) wanna come eat at my kampon tonight?" We were invited to and after a few moments of eye contact decided why not. Kampon is like home village, now it is good to be invited and Mark told us about the wild boar running about, huge lizards etc so I had a mental image of a real kampon in the sticks with the community pulling together. Mark said he had killed the boar to save some of the children and killed the lizard for food. Not unusual....so no reason to doubt him. Even when he brought his car round to pick us up which he affectionately called....wait for it....the bat mobile....we knew it was going to be a wierd experience.

We would never had gone had Dan not been there and seeing how much he liked Dan made me feel even more safe.

Arriving at the 'kampon' it was clear we would not see any wild boar or lizards here unless they were plated. We were taken straight to a local cafe which was in amongst many others. Imagine a carpark full of tables and chairs, well this is where we were. Mark ordered our food, said he wasn't eating. Dan ordered sting ray....which as you would know doesn't have a tail....so when plates after plate of food arrived Mark suddenly had a massive appetite.

Dan challenged him on the sting ray as this one had a distinct tail. "Yeah balls, that's sting ray" was the reply to which Dan made a comment about knowing about fish etc and Mark flipped. "Balls, I kill you...you won't leave this kampon alive....I'm gunna kill you! I've paid for all this food balls.....I kill you!" He hadn't paid for any of it ....we did....I tried to placate him but he sat in a strop like a 5 year old sulking. After five minutes he was fine and laughing, very tempermental and the scar across his head should have been a giveaway, turns out he had been in a serious accident once and now has a metal plate in his head. But he was still a jerk!

The next day he text Dan to see if we wanted to go to the cinema.......no chance. Back row I thought!

Tip.....don't go to Discovery Cafe unless you want to be deafened by the ridiculously loud solo singer so much so you can't even have a conversation.

Check out Mark at Geographers bar, worth having a laugh at his pathetic stories.

Posted by Vicky Bailey 06:28 Archived in Malaysia Tagged travel journey mother_daughter blog melaka world_trip back_packing melacca chloe_bailey flash_packing mallacca

Email this entryFacebookStumbleUpon

Table of contents

Be the first to comment on this entry.

Comments on this blog entry are now closed to non-Travellerspoint members. You can still leave a comment if you are a member of Travellerspoint.